What is a Sabas Update? Well, its exactly that. A group email I send out about 1-4 times a week with the latest on our favorite Lithuanian. A good mix of both FACT AND FICTION about his Russian majesty; the Blazers, his wife, what he does in his spare time (mostly fiction), and whatever I can relate to him. Don't worry if you decide to sign up for Sabas Updates, your email address will be withheld and you will be taken off as soon as you request so.
Not sure? Take a gander at some sample sabas updates from the past:
To: sabas update.
Subject: sabas update 012901 (Life's checks and balances).
Date: Mon, 29 Jan 2001 11:09:25 -0500
Blazers 80 Minnesota 93
How come I never get any emails about how better the Blazers are
when Sabonis is in the lineup? When they lose and Sabas is in there,
I get emails preaching that they are better off without. I need balance
people. Without balance in certain aspects of my life, I could teeter
right off the deep end.
And when I am just one sway away from falling off the edge, something
pulls me back. Like that one time some lady called me a "lowlife chink"
and the next day i found a shiny dime on the concrete. I like to call
it "life's little checks and balances."
Thinking that I would see the nine televised Blazers games this month.
Life decides to bring me back by allowing Sabas to only play in half so
far. So this Minnesota game, in which they both lost and played without
Sabas (in which the NBA fans lost out)... I was awaiting my positive...
Lo and behold comes NBA Courtside Countdown, where the lumbering,
so called un coordinated Arvydas Sabonis makes the top ten most
exciting plays... TWICE. Go figure.
"Courtside Countdown- Arvydas Sabonis, Darius Miles and Vince Carter are
just a few of the players featured in the latest edition of Courtside
Countdown, a look at the top 10 plays of the week. "
Date: Fri, 3 Dec 1999 12:16:00 -0500 (EST)
To: "Sabas Update"
Subject: Sabas Update #19.5/21
Indiana 93 Portland 91 (12-3) Nov 29th.
Turning from fear because of Reggie's teeth, the Blazers couldn't shoot
straight. Referring to Indiana's sharpshooter as "Pennywise the clown"
because of his well-lined dental work, the Blazers lost just their third
game of the season.
Blazer fans held their breath when Mike Dunleavy contested Indiana's
win, the Blazers coach was "near certain" that Cheryl Miller just shaved
her head. Cheryl not being on Indiana's roster would have disqualified
the Pacers and would have given the Blazers the win.
After three scrutinizing patdowns, the Oregon chief of police confirmed
that it was in fact, Reggie Miller.
"Well i tried" said Dunleavy after the final patdown, "I've never seen
something so close since Michael and Janet Jackson."
Date: Fri, 18 Aug 2000 10:56:07 -0400 (EDT)
To: "Sabas Update"
Subject: sabas update 081800
Those wacky peeps at Oregonlive has come up with
their own version of Survivor. Visit everyday
to vote a Blazer off the island.
Heres hoping Sabas goes naked on the island like Richard Hatch.
> From: sabas11
> To: "Sabas Update"
> Sent: Wednesday, May 10, 2000 9:06 AM
> Subject: sabas update 050900
> > Portland 103 Utah 85
> > I have fear right now. I've never seen these Mormons get whooped so
> > easily. There are one of two things that has happened. The Blazers are
> > head and shoulders above this team or these fucks are going to come out
> > firing in game 3 and 4.
> > I almost lost my voice last night because i was enjoying the game that
> > much. Did anyone catch Sabas' sweet sweet like sugar moves last night? A
> > nice jelly roll from about 10 feet out, all net might i add. A three
> > pointer to keep them honest. That patented hook i haven't seen in over 5
> > games... its called options people. If sabas was a car, he'd be an old
> > one, an old one thats fully-loaded. Take a couple minutes to feel that
> > analogy out and let out that smile.
> > Alright, i know, lets get to what you guys are reading this for. Sabas
> > played a mere 18 minutes last night and tallied 10pts, 5rebs, and again
> > led the team in assists with 4 (along with Detlef and Pip)
> > Hmmm... don't know why i haven't received any emails about Shaq and his
> > little mvp trophy i thought my inbox would be assaulted this morning.
> > Until this thursday for game 3 (8pm TNT),
> > sabas11
Date: Tue, 14 Mar 2000 16:34:09 -0500 (EST)
To: "Sabas Update"
Subject: Sabas Update 031400 (NYSE: SbsUpdt up 3/16)
Hi everyone, Sabas Update now expands to 2 states nationwide, representing
both Michigan and Tennessee. We will be going public this May with the
NYSE, our symbol will be "SbsUpdt". Invest today!
Just wanted to remind you about tonights game on TBS, the Blazers against
the Sacramento Kings, 10:30m
Look for Vlade getting used.
Anyhow, about 400 Lithuanians got to see Sabas play in DC... follow this link
for more info, the article is titled "Sabonis basks in adoration" sweet.
reading is fundamental, follow the link.
Bye Bye Bye,
>Date: Wed, 10 Nov 1999 12:20:41 -0500 (EST)
>To: "Sabas Update"
>Subject: Sabas Update #13
>Utah 92 Portland 87
>Last night Sabas and the Blazers visited the land of polygamy. They
>didn't play too well (except for Smiths first half) I don't know whether it
>was because they're still getting to know each others' games or the fact
>that Jeff Hornacek's and Olden Polynice's combined 23 wives were that
>Before I go into more details about the game, I have a question for you.
>Feel free to form a study group to assist you in this story problem.
>If Jeff Hornacek has 17 kids by 8 wives in 12 districts in Utah, how many
>times should he wipe his face before shooting a free throw in order to
>signal to all of his kids?
>Discuss amongst yourselves...
>Anyhow, Sabas = 11pts, 9rebs, 3assts (sweet behind the back pass to start
>the break) 1 blk.
>I am not even going to mention the 3 point plays that Malone got either
>because he is uncoordinated and/or he runs into people. Congratulations
>Karl, you've won our annual rogaine sickest player stu knows award 10
*Now are you interested in Sabas? Or do you just want to send me hatemail?
Either way you can email me at
Go ahead, i'm waiting.
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